So, you have decided to take the plunge and pop the question to your significant other, and you are ready to buy the ring of their dreams. But, how do you know what size to get? Although rings can be resized up or down by a grade, much more than that and you will lose the strength and robustness of the material which will denigrate it and make it far less likely to withstand the wear and tear of everyday use. So, the closest you can get in terms of matching your partner’s ring size, the better.
If the proposal is due to be a secret, and not something that you have discussed much between you, you will likely also need to buy their ring in secret, which makes it a lot harder to know what size they wear.
Use another ring
The obvious way of finding out your partner’s ring size is to ‘borrow’ a ring from them which they already wear regularly on the ring finger of their right hand and then take it to a jewellers’ to get measured, before returning it without your partner noticing. Of course, this might be easier said than done, for many reasons.
Perhaps your partner doesn’t usually wear much jewellery and doesn’t have a ring that they normally wear. Conversely, perhaps they do have a ring that they wear, but they never take it off and would notice immediately if it weren’t on their nightstand. Maybe they have lost or gained weight recently, so their usual rings don’t fit them anymore. The pitfalls are endless.
If you don’t want to take one of their rings, see if you are able to draw round the inside circumference of it, and then bring that to us and we should be able to take an accurate measurement for an engagement ring from that. There are also mobile phone apps which allow you to put the ring on your screen and it will determine the ring size. It is not an entirely foolproof method, but it is better than nothing.
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Use your friends and family
You could use your family to find out your partner’s ring size. This could be by pretending that you want to buy a ring for another female member of your own family (eg your mother or sister) and casually asking your girlfriend what their ring size is, to help you choose. You could even take her with you when you go to look for this pretend ring, and let her try some on and encourage her to let you know which type she prefers. This will all help you to select a ring that she likes in both fit and style.
Alternatively, your family or friends could be commandeered to ask your partner what size ring they are, just handily dropped into conversation. Perhaps they could be showing off an eternity ring they are wearing, and can find out subtly and naturally from that. Even better if they have an engagement ring too and your partner is encouraged to try it on. This will help to give you a ballpark size and your partner may also expand on what she looks for in an engagement ring, making it win-win all round.
Compare and contrast
A slightly left-field suggestion, but still an option if all else fails, is to compare your fingers to your partner’s when you are holding hands. It may be that their ring finger is similar in size to your little finger, for example. So, at least that gives you something to work with, even though it isn’t as accurate a solution as you might hope.
Perhaps they have a sister or friend whom you see them with regularly and you are able to determine they have similar finger sizes, so you can ask them what their ring size is to give you a starting point.
Different widths of ring will have slightly different ring sizes. So, a chunkier ring is often a tighter fit to a slimmer band. To err on the side of caution, we suggest sizing up rather than down, so that the ring will at least go on their finger when you propose.
Temperature changes and hormones can mean fingers expand or contract, with the heat making them swell. This is also often true in a morning, with your fingers settling down to their usual size as the day progresses.
You could choose to propose with a cheap ring and then suggest that you and your partner go and choose the actual engagement ring together. You could even select your wedding bands at the same time. This ensures you are not spending too much on a ring that is completely the wrong size. It can be very romantic going to a jewellers’ together to pick out a ring, and you can be absolutely sure it fits and that your partner is happy with the style too.
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Don’t let not knowing your partner’s ring size stress you out unnecessarily and put you off the whole idea of proposing. If they really can’t wear the ring on their finger because it is too big or too small, it is seen as cool and edgy to wear the ring on a chain around the neck instead. This also puts it closer to their heart.
Even if it means you have to buy a second alternative ring, all is not lost. It is the thought that counts and, if your partner wants to marry you, they won’t mind at all that they don’t have a perfectly-fitted ring, as long as you are their perfect fit.